She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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