you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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