Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
