It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
