who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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