i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
