Already got asked if we're dating
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
