If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize