turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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