No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
