dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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