dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
