I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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