I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
