I am puke
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
