You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
PANTIES FOUND
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