I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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