Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
