So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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