I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
