Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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