Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
