Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
