how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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