it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Randomize
