it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
