That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
