And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Green mimosas i think yes
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
