operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
