When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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