How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize