Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
