Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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