the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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