she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Redeem this text for a blowjob
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
