Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
