JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
he laminated a picture of his dick.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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