He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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