If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
