a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize