and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
