In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Randomize
