Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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