Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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