I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I supernannyed him into submission
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize