Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
