That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize