that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
