The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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