I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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