Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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