You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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