Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
