Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
