You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
