Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
