You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
