Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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